About
Elaine Blidgeon – A Recovering People Pleaser
My Journey From A Chronic Worrier People Pleaser
To Saying No And Living My Best Life!
From Worrier to Warrior: Battling Anxiety from a Young Age
My Early Struggles
My story is one of resilience and learning the power of changing my mindset. From a young age, I struggled with intense anxiety. My days were filled with fear and worry, and it often felt like I couldn’t get on top of things. As I got older, those feelings only grew stronger, making it harder for me to speak up or make decisions. I found myself constantly putting others first, trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict at all costs. But behind the smiles and all the “yeses,” I felt overwhelmed and stuck. My people-pleasing tendencies added even more pressure to my daily life, leaving me drained and unsure how to break free.
The Breaking Point: Surviving a Toxic Work Environment and People-Pleasing
When I started working, I hoped for stability and purpose but found myself in a toxic environment that fed my anxiety. I tried to please everyone, saying “yes” to everything and taking on too much. No matter how hard I worked, it was never enough.
The stress made me doubt myself and question every decision. My anxiety turned into constant paranoia, leaving me on edge and unable to trust anyone, not even myself. The pressure to meet everyone’s expectations left me drained, overwhelmed, and questioning how much more I could take.
Turning Point: How Mindset Training Helped Me Break Free from Fear and People-Pleasing
In the middle of all the chaos, I found a lifeline in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) training. It was the first time I learned about limiting beliefs—those thoughts that hold us back—and that they could be changed. I realised my people-pleasing was tied to these beliefs, keeping me stuck and anxious.
The idea that changing my beliefs could change my life felt like hope. Even when others said it wouldn’t work, I decided to give it everything I had. It was the start of turning things around for me.
Determined to change, I threw myself into every course I could find to shift my limiting beliefs. But two problems came up. Most of the training focused on helping others, not myself, and the small wins I had didn’t last. They either faded or needed constant effort, which I couldn’t keep up. I realised I had to learn how to coach myself, especially to break free from my people-pleasing habits.
Determined to change, I developed the first version of my mindset recalibration method, and it started making a real difference. To see if it truly worked, I joined a local public speaking group—a dream I’d avoided because of fear. My first session was overwhelming, but overcoming that fear, along with putting my people-pleasing habits into remission, proved the method worked.
The Amnesia Method: Unlocking Fearless Behaviours
Over the years, I refined my process and developed what I now call the Amnesia Method. It’s based on neuroplasticity—the brain’s amazing ability to change and adapt. From the moment we’re born, our brains form new connections which we use in our learning and development. They also have a natural ability to ‘forget,’ letting go of memories or experiences that don’t serve us. This process gets stronger as we age, and neuroscience shows we can use it intentionally. For me, it was the key to breaking free from fear and the grip of people pleasing.
The Amnesia Method helped me easily stop the triggers that led to my people-pleasing habits. What most people don’t realise is that people pleasers aren’t a special kind of overly nice person—we’re driven by a fear of rejection and overwhelming guilt. It’s not that we always want to say yes; we just don’t know another way to avoid feeling bad. The Amnesia Method changed that for me. It removed the limiting beliefs that made me say yes when I wanted to say no, and it cleared the guilt I used to feel at even the thought of saying no.
Over the years, I’ve seen the same transformation in my clients. Many struggled with people pleasing in ways that made life harder—whether it was not enjoying Christmas because of obligations, feeling trapped by workplace expectations, or even losing control over how they spent their free time. By helping them identify their limiting beliefs and tackle guilt head-on, their people-pleasing tendencies gradually shrank, allowing them to reclaim their lives.
My Focus and Passion: Helping People Pleasers Become Assertive Without Guilt or Fear of Rejection
If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own kindness—saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” overextending yourself to avoid conflict, or feeling guilty for even thinking about setting boundaries—you’re not alone.
As people pleasers, our biggest fear is rejection or disconnection. We say yes to stay connected, to avoid being seen as difficult or unkind, but somehow, we still end up feeling unappreciated, burnt out, and, ironically, disconnected from others.
But here’s the truth: you don’t have to choose between caring for others and caring for yourself.
That’s why I’m so passionate about helping people pleasers like you (and like me!) become assertive without the guilt, without burning bridges, and without creating enemies.
We do have incredible people skills. We care deeply, we connect easily, and we want the best for those around us. But those strengths shouldn’t come at our expense.
Learning Connection-Centred Assertiveness changed everything for me. It gave me the tools to protect my energy, say no without guilt, and build stronger relationships—at work and at home.
Now, I want to help you do the same:
- Let Go of Guilt: Say no with confidence, knowing you’re not hurting anyone.
- Protect Your Energy: Give from a place of abundance, not obligation or exhaustion.
- Preserve Connections: Maintain meaningful relationships while honouring your needs.
- Create Balance: Stop feeling trapped by being “nice” and start feeling free to live authentically.
We have so much to give, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of our well-being. If being “nice” is starting to make you feel stuck, drained, or undervalued, I’m here to help. Together, we’ll work on building assertiveness that fits who you are, strengthens your relationships, and makes life easier to navigate.